I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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