highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
