I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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