i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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