dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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