Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
