he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
