Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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