oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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