I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
