she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
