TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
