suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
