I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
