I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
