Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
