He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize