Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
