And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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