check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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