Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize