So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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