We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize