Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
