Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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