Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
As shirtless as possible
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
