I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
