she's into porn, im staying here tonight
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
