I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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