I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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