Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
