I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
