How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
