Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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