You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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