Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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