omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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