ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
how can u be prego again
I could make wine with my vomit
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
