Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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