Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
