they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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