I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize