I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
