Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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