we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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