Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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