I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
