we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
