just tell him i said nine months
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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