i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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