She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
