I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize