OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize