Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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