and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize
