You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
