I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
