I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize