I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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