This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize