he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
